Sunday, December 28, 2003
Henniway you look at it, it was an eggceptional Christmas in Hatchburg. Christmas Eve
Juliet and Gabriella pecked dinner at Lacroix in Rittenhouse Square. It was a delicious dream. They sat at a window table with dates they met on hatch.com. The view from the dinning room, overlooking the square, was a glittering mosaic of lighted balls hung from the trees. The food was tres Lacroix with chef Jean-Marie in top form. Their waiter, (Rorey), treated them as all chicks like to be treated: extra petits-fours and a smile with every course. Rorey is one of North Ireland's finest. He reminised with them about boxty and recited the following:
Boxty in the morning,
Boxty in the pan,
If you can't make boxty
You'll never get a man
1/2 lb. raw potato
1/2 lb. mashed potato
1/2 lb. plain flour
milk
1 large egg
salt and pepper
oil to grease the pan
Grate raw potatoes and mix with the cooked mashed potatoes. Add salt, pepper and flour. Beat egg and add to mixture with just enough milk to make a batter that will drop from a spoon. Drop by tablespoonfuls into a hot frying pan. Cook over a moderate heat for 3-4 minutes on each side. Serve with a tart apple sauce or with fried bacon, fried sausage, fried eggs or fried soda bread. Hatchburgians (except Joey),say skip the fried eggs.
Juliet and Gabriella decided to pass the boxty poem on to Eloise in case she had an interest in increasing her chances of catching a rooster. They also printed a copy for Joey and changed the last word to "woman."
This year on Christmas Eve, Hatchburgian's celebrated their fiftieth annual candlelight ceremony at the soybean field on the edge of town. Gabriella led them in a group poem. She started the poem with: Meet me at the soybean field. Then she lit the first candle. Joey read the next line: Where the poke weeds bend in the night. He lit the second candle. The rest of the lines were extemporaneous remembrances of the dead. After each chicken said a line, they lit their candle from someone else's lit candle and by 12:30 AM the soybean field sparkled with memory. Each new line began with the word "where." For the first time in his life, Rusty contributed to the poem with: Where my mother bakes the lemon pies. Rusty choked on the word pies as he remembered his mother who lost her life to a chicken barbecue on Fourth of July '01. Juliet said "Where the father throws the ball." As Reba says, it is a moving ceremony, they should call it Meet at the Sob field because that's how it ends- sobbing chickens in the soft flame light of the cut soybean field.
On Christmas morning, most chicks and roosters started their day with an order of Rosie's waffles with a side of diced mango and pineapple. Joey ate a couple of sunny side ups before he arrived at the diner. Phil gave him a dirty look and said, "You have egg on your beak." Joey said, "It's not egg it's mango." Phil shook his wattle and decided not to pursue it.
Kitty closed the L& G for Christmas, and stayed in her coop thinking about the families with soldiers in Iraq. She called the Dean Dozen over for eggless nog, and they wrote condolence letters to families who's loved ones have died in Iraq. By evening they were so depressed they decided to meet Eloise at the Roasted Corn and have a comfort food meal (boxty, lasagna, ricotta cheese cake and mocha rum balls) For a change, Jewel sang the blues and broken hearts began to brighten.
Christmas Day, Henrietta ate one too many pieces of del Fabro's Carrot Cake and spent the day after Christmas with a bottle of Pepto and a New Year's resolution list.
Until the next Scratch, del Fabro sends love, and wishes Peace on Earth to all.
Juliet and Gabriella pecked dinner at Lacroix in Rittenhouse Square. It was a delicious dream. They sat at a window table with dates they met on hatch.com. The view from the dinning room, overlooking the square, was a glittering mosaic of lighted balls hung from the trees. The food was tres Lacroix with chef Jean-Marie in top form. Their waiter, (Rorey), treated them as all chicks like to be treated: extra petits-fours and a smile with every course. Rorey is one of North Ireland's finest. He reminised with them about boxty and recited the following:
Boxty in the morning,
Boxty in the pan,
If you can't make boxty
You'll never get a man
1/2 lb. raw potato
1/2 lb. mashed potato
1/2 lb. plain flour
milk
1 large egg
salt and pepper
oil to grease the pan
Grate raw potatoes and mix with the cooked mashed potatoes. Add salt, pepper and flour. Beat egg and add to mixture with just enough milk to make a batter that will drop from a spoon. Drop by tablespoonfuls into a hot frying pan. Cook over a moderate heat for 3-4 minutes on each side. Serve with a tart apple sauce or with fried bacon, fried sausage, fried eggs or fried soda bread. Hatchburgians (except Joey),say skip the fried eggs.
Juliet and Gabriella decided to pass the boxty poem on to Eloise in case she had an interest in increasing her chances of catching a rooster. They also printed a copy for Joey and changed the last word to "woman."
This year on Christmas Eve, Hatchburgian's celebrated their fiftieth annual candlelight ceremony at the soybean field on the edge of town. Gabriella led them in a group poem. She started the poem with: Meet me at the soybean field. Then she lit the first candle. Joey read the next line: Where the poke weeds bend in the night. He lit the second candle. The rest of the lines were extemporaneous remembrances of the dead. After each chicken said a line, they lit their candle from someone else's lit candle and by 12:30 AM the soybean field sparkled with memory. Each new line began with the word "where." For the first time in his life, Rusty contributed to the poem with: Where my mother bakes the lemon pies. Rusty choked on the word pies as he remembered his mother who lost her life to a chicken barbecue on Fourth of July '01. Juliet said "Where the father throws the ball." As Reba says, it is a moving ceremony, they should call it Meet at the Sob field because that's how it ends- sobbing chickens in the soft flame light of the cut soybean field.
On Christmas morning, most chicks and roosters started their day with an order of Rosie's waffles with a side of diced mango and pineapple. Joey ate a couple of sunny side ups before he arrived at the diner. Phil gave him a dirty look and said, "You have egg on your beak." Joey said, "It's not egg it's mango." Phil shook his wattle and decided not to pursue it.
Kitty closed the L& G for Christmas, and stayed in her coop thinking about the families with soldiers in Iraq. She called the Dean Dozen over for eggless nog, and they wrote condolence letters to families who's loved ones have died in Iraq. By evening they were so depressed they decided to meet Eloise at the Roasted Corn and have a comfort food meal (boxty, lasagna, ricotta cheese cake and mocha rum balls) For a change, Jewel sang the blues and broken hearts began to brighten.
Christmas Day, Henrietta ate one too many pieces of del Fabro's Carrot Cake and spent the day after Christmas with a bottle of Pepto and a New Year's resolution list.
Until the next Scratch, del Fabro sends love, and wishes Peace on Earth to all.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
Henniway you look at it, Rosie and del Fabro are baking day and night. The scent of gingerbread and butter cookies floats to the moon and most every feather has a crumb.
Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, you could use an extreme makeover. That spider hole was not a good thing for your complexion. Deidre suggests an in-prison day spa experience with Susan Ciminelli Spend some of that $750, 000 on a fango mud body wrap, a stone massage for overall stress reduction, and don’t forget a clean shave and a buzz cut. An upper and lower lid blepharoplasty wouldn’t be a bad idea. Your bags are packed and I know you aren’t traveling any time soon. If any one asks if you’ve had work done just say “Who Me?” Deirdre sent Saddam a message: Dear Saddami: go for the extreme makeover. You’ll respect yourself (in solitary), while you read Dominick Dunne’s story about you in Vanity Fair.
Henrietta took New Jersey Transit to NYC (the safest city in the nation), for a peek and peck at the Rockefeller Center Tree. She met some friends on the ice, and lost a few tail feathers when she tried to scratch a figure eight.
Congratulations to Elmer Lokkins, 84 and Gustavo Archilla, 88 who were married in Canada on November 12. They eloped after being together for 60 years. As Eloise says, it’s never too late to get married. She’s still looking.
Gabriella, Henrietta Johnny, Phil, Kitty and Jewel went to see Something's Got to Give. Kitty is still purring and rolling over over Keanu Reeves. Ohhhhh the kissing. Gabriella says if you like to kiss and you like Jack Nicholson you’ll have some good dreams after this movie. Kitty decided to offer a Saturday night kissing contest at the Liver and Gizzard Bar and Grill. Judges are Juliet, Geneva, Lorna, Reba and Phil. Vouchers to the Roasted Corn will be given out as prizes. Deirdre is looking for partner, and so is Rusty. Both of them want to win, and then bury their beaks in a whole del Fabro carrot cake.
Glamour Girl is in crisis. Her boss told her she was inappropriately dressed for work. She put on her raincoat and acted as if it didn’t matter but she sees the scratch on the coop and she’s looking for a new job. She reread del Fabro’s Don’t Even think About It, and watched the second season of Ab Fab. Now, she’s singing Tracy Chapman’s line: “Give me one reason to stay here and I’ll turn my back around.”
No chick or rooster in Hatchburg was a part of the New York Times /CBS News poll Before and After Hussein’s Capture. Rosie took her own straw poll. Across the coops, 98% of Hatchburgians disapprove of the way George W. Bush is handling his job, the economy, and the situation with Iraq.
This week’ s letter to George W. Bush was not sent. Instead, del Fabro scratched a note to Lieberman and Kerry: Dear Joe and JFK: wake up and smell the coffee; the world is round, and, are you two from Pluto? P.S. to John: there is only one JFK and you are not.
Rumor has it that Eve has been offered a job in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Rosetta overheard Eve talking turkey about an office job in a dental surgeon’s office. Her toothless mouth is the best advertisement for dental implants.
Sit by the fire and make a wish for no more cold feet.
Saddam, Saddam, Saddam, you could use an extreme makeover. That spider hole was not a good thing for your complexion. Deidre suggests an in-prison day spa experience with Susan Ciminelli Spend some of that $750, 000 on a fango mud body wrap, a stone massage for overall stress reduction, and don’t forget a clean shave and a buzz cut. An upper and lower lid blepharoplasty wouldn’t be a bad idea. Your bags are packed and I know you aren’t traveling any time soon. If any one asks if you’ve had work done just say “Who Me?” Deirdre sent Saddam a message: Dear Saddami: go for the extreme makeover. You’ll respect yourself (in solitary), while you read Dominick Dunne’s story about you in Vanity Fair.
Henrietta took New Jersey Transit to NYC (the safest city in the nation), for a peek and peck at the Rockefeller Center Tree. She met some friends on the ice, and lost a few tail feathers when she tried to scratch a figure eight.
Congratulations to Elmer Lokkins, 84 and Gustavo Archilla, 88 who were married in Canada on November 12. They eloped after being together for 60 years. As Eloise says, it’s never too late to get married. She’s still looking.
Gabriella, Henrietta Johnny, Phil, Kitty and Jewel went to see Something's Got to Give. Kitty is still purring and rolling over over Keanu Reeves. Ohhhhh the kissing. Gabriella says if you like to kiss and you like Jack Nicholson you’ll have some good dreams after this movie. Kitty decided to offer a Saturday night kissing contest at the Liver and Gizzard Bar and Grill. Judges are Juliet, Geneva, Lorna, Reba and Phil. Vouchers to the Roasted Corn will be given out as prizes. Deirdre is looking for partner, and so is Rusty. Both of them want to win, and then bury their beaks in a whole del Fabro carrot cake.
Glamour Girl is in crisis. Her boss told her she was inappropriately dressed for work. She put on her raincoat and acted as if it didn’t matter but she sees the scratch on the coop and she’s looking for a new job. She reread del Fabro’s Don’t Even think About It, and watched the second season of Ab Fab. Now, she’s singing Tracy Chapman’s line: “Give me one reason to stay here and I’ll turn my back around.”
No chick or rooster in Hatchburg was a part of the New York Times /CBS News poll Before and After Hussein’s Capture. Rosie took her own straw poll. Across the coops, 98% of Hatchburgians disapprove of the way George W. Bush is handling his job, the economy, and the situation with Iraq.
This week’ s letter to George W. Bush was not sent. Instead, del Fabro scratched a note to Lieberman and Kerry: Dear Joe and JFK: wake up and smell the coffee; the world is round, and, are you two from Pluto? P.S. to John: there is only one JFK and you are not.
Rumor has it that Eve has been offered a job in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Rosetta overheard Eve talking turkey about an office job in a dental surgeon’s office. Her toothless mouth is the best advertisement for dental implants.
Sit by the fire and make a wish for no more cold feet.
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Henniway you look at it, Hatchburgians are still drying off their feathers after the big egg breaking blizzard. The storm caused flooding in the valley. The Eagle lost power and it was a jelly doughnutless Sunday. The Liver and Gizzard Bar and Grill suffered eggstensive damages and was forced to shut down until further notice.
Henrietta opened every blind at 22 Bernaise Place, and watched the snow work it’s magic on her red maple. She crossed her feet under her grandmother’s goose down comforter and took out del Fabro’s Don’t Even Think About It, and turned to del Fabro’s holiday gift advice:
If it smells good, it is. Think about it.
If it plugs in don’t even think about it unless it’s a Smart Car.
If your gift looks good on a feather, then think about it.
It you like a gift more because of the price than the gift itself, don’t even think about it.
If you love the gift, but hate the price then think about it.
Remember: one perfect egg is better than a dozen eggcellent ones.
This week’s must do from del Fabro: read Crimes Against Nature by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in the Rolling Stone December 11, 2003. Bush has egg on his face; his administration has initiated over 200 major rollbacks of America’s environmental laws and as usual, fossil-fuel executives rule the roost. For the Natural Resources Defense Council’s account of what the Bush Administration has done and is planning to do on environmental issues check out nrdc.org/bushrecord.
Rusty is pleased. He hasn’t had a drink since his Thanksgiving misadventure with corn whisky. Every night, he dreams he is doing shots at the Liver and Gizzard.
The Dean Dozen chicks are cackling in Hatchburg tonight! Al Gore’s endorsement of the Doctor is a feather in their campaign nest. They are so eggscited they can barely eggpress themselves.
This week’s note to George Bush (from Gabriella del Grappa): Dear George, congratulations on Texas being the number one state in air and water pollution.
Henniway you look at it, the New Jersey bear hunt is unbearable. Shame on you NJ; you have blood on your paws.
Henrietta opened every blind at 22 Bernaise Place, and watched the snow work it’s magic on her red maple. She crossed her feet under her grandmother’s goose down comforter and took out del Fabro’s Don’t Even Think About It, and turned to del Fabro’s holiday gift advice:
If it smells good, it is. Think about it.
If it plugs in don’t even think about it unless it’s a Smart Car.
If your gift looks good on a feather, then think about it.
It you like a gift more because of the price than the gift itself, don’t even think about it.
If you love the gift, but hate the price then think about it.
Remember: one perfect egg is better than a dozen eggcellent ones.
This week’s must do from del Fabro: read Crimes Against Nature by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in the Rolling Stone December 11, 2003. Bush has egg on his face; his administration has initiated over 200 major rollbacks of America’s environmental laws and as usual, fossil-fuel executives rule the roost. For the Natural Resources Defense Council’s account of what the Bush Administration has done and is planning to do on environmental issues check out nrdc.org/bushrecord.
Rusty is pleased. He hasn’t had a drink since his Thanksgiving misadventure with corn whisky. Every night, he dreams he is doing shots at the Liver and Gizzard.
The Dean Dozen chicks are cackling in Hatchburg tonight! Al Gore’s endorsement of the Doctor is a feather in their campaign nest. They are so eggscited they can barely eggpress themselves.
This week’s note to George Bush (from Gabriella del Grappa): Dear George, congratulations on Texas being the number one state in air and water pollution.
Henniway you look at it, the New Jersey bear hunt is unbearable. Shame on you NJ; you have blood on your paws.
Monday, December 01, 2003
Henniway you look at it, it was an eggsceptional Thanksgiving. Rosie outdid herself and prepared over fifty different dishes not counting the cheese cakes and pies. Henrietta offered a moment of silence for all the turkeys who didn’t make it.
Rusty had one too many corn whiskeys ( Juliet counted 8 and then turned her beak towards the ricotta cheesecake ). He went out to the back of the Roasted Corn and lost his corn pudding, corn bread and the rest. After a brief nap in Rosie’s storage shed, he went back into the diner and gave Don a look. They left wing in wing for the roosters AA meeting at the Town Hall. During the meeting, Rusty finally said out loud what he has been too frightened to admit: “Hi I am Rusty and I am an alcoholic.” After the meeting, they went to Wild Oats and Don bought him a case of San Pellegrino.
This weeks message to George Bush from (Gabriella): Dear George, our heads may be small but we are not stupid. Please rename your $820 billion Omnibus Appropriations Bill “Les cadeaux pour mes amis.”
Hattie, Henrietta and Reba posted posters outside of Feather’s or Not, Scratch and Sniff Florist, and Toe the Line Nails. They read: Overtime All the Time : Stop Bush’s plan to Loot American Workers.
Eloise is on the South Beach Diet again (her third time). Gabriella and Henrietta are joining the struggle. Their support group meets every Wednesday night from 8 to 10 PM in the basement of Merrick’s on Moore. Participants are urged to bring an outfit they want to get into. At the end of each meeting members will be encouraged to publicly humiliate themselves by trying to squeeze into their goal outfit. Whomever gets into their outfit first (no breath holding allowed) will recieve $5 per oz lost (paid to the winner by each member).
This weeks note to Tony Blair (from Lorna): Dear Tony, please wipe the egg yolk off your face. Your press secretary Alastair Campbell’s creative editing on the intelligence dossier detailing Iraqi WMD gets a D for dumb. Tony: you forgot this was supposed to be an intelligence dossier.
Look for del Fabro’s shopping tips in next week’s Scratch.
Rusty had one too many corn whiskeys ( Juliet counted 8 and then turned her beak towards the ricotta cheesecake ). He went out to the back of the Roasted Corn and lost his corn pudding, corn bread and the rest. After a brief nap in Rosie’s storage shed, he went back into the diner and gave Don a look. They left wing in wing for the roosters AA meeting at the Town Hall. During the meeting, Rusty finally said out loud what he has been too frightened to admit: “Hi I am Rusty and I am an alcoholic.” After the meeting, they went to Wild Oats and Don bought him a case of San Pellegrino.
This weeks message to George Bush from (Gabriella): Dear George, our heads may be small but we are not stupid. Please rename your $820 billion Omnibus Appropriations Bill “Les cadeaux pour mes amis.”
Hattie, Henrietta and Reba posted posters outside of Feather’s or Not, Scratch and Sniff Florist, and Toe the Line Nails. They read: Overtime All the Time : Stop Bush’s plan to Loot American Workers.
Eloise is on the South Beach Diet again (her third time). Gabriella and Henrietta are joining the struggle. Their support group meets every Wednesday night from 8 to 10 PM in the basement of Merrick’s on Moore. Participants are urged to bring an outfit they want to get into. At the end of each meeting members will be encouraged to publicly humiliate themselves by trying to squeeze into their goal outfit. Whomever gets into their outfit first (no breath holding allowed) will recieve $5 per oz lost (paid to the winner by each member).
This weeks note to Tony Blair (from Lorna): Dear Tony, please wipe the egg yolk off your face. Your press secretary Alastair Campbell’s creative editing on the intelligence dossier detailing Iraqi WMD gets a D for dumb. Tony: you forgot this was supposed to be an intelligence dossier.
Look for del Fabro’s shopping tips in next week’s Scratch.
