Monday, September 05, 2005
Henniway you look at it, the Scratch is back, and many have been itching for it. It has been a corn filled summer in Hatchburg. For the month of August, Rosie cooked up a new corn dish every day. Rusty tried them all, and he and Raymond picked the Roasted Corn’s roasted corn salad as the dish most worth crossing the road for. Check out the roasted corn recipe published in the Feedbag.
Narcisse is unpacking her new fall line. She sent a note to Condi Rice announcing that the Casual Coop has chic feathered ensembles by Henceforth that will look perfect the next time Condi meets the press to explain why she was shoe shopping at Feragamo’s while the cries from New Orleans were rising. Hatchburgians have taken up the call to donate food and clothing to the victims of FEMA’s feeble response to Katrina. On Labor Day Henrietta stood on the corner of Broad Breast St. and Straw Ave, and handed out copies of Paul Krugman’s and Bob Herbert’s columns from the September 6th issue of the New York Times. She highlighted Paul’s second paragraph where he reports that the U.S.S. Bataan, which can produce 100,000 gallons of fresh water per day, and is equipped with six operating rooms, and hundreds of hospital beds has been sitting like a hen on an egg off the Gulf Coast since last Monday, devoid of patients. But as Bob Herbert says, at the head of his column, “Bush to New Orleans: Drop Dead.” They have, and they will continue to do so. What Mavis wants to know is: how many of the Bush man’s supporters finally get the message that a village in Texas has lost its idiot and New Orleans has the corpses to prove it? Mavis is closing Cutter’s pharmacy, and is headed to New Orleans to share her pharmacy supplies with the victims of Katrina. Miss Daisy is responding to the crisis by donating all her September profits from her candy store to the relief effort. Rusty, Raymond, and Sassy are supporting Daisy by stopping in every afternoon to buy their favorite treat: jelly worms and candied flies.
On a happier note, Hatchburg High is gearing up for their 40th high school reunion. Feathers or Not Beauty Salon is booked solid for the day of the reunion (Oct 28th). Reba is so stressed she has started biting her nails, and pulling our her tail feathers. She called Juliet Fricasee and scheduled a Pollame Psychotherapy session for her nerves, and an appointment for silk wraps at Toe the Line. Chicks are booking pedicures and feet massage to get ready for what promises to be a night of cackling and high wing flapping. Rumor has it that the class of ‘65 has produced some prized fowl.
On Hatchburg’s romantic front, Eloise had a loved filled summer. She finally got over last summer’s rotten rooster and has been grilling vegetables and sitting by the pool with a new rooster that she met on hatchmatch.com. On August 31, Eloise made a batch of del Fabro’s (check the Feedbag, Wednesdy Jan 07, 2004, for the recipe) to celebrate Martha Stewart’s freedom. She sent her a tube of Toe the Line’s soothing skin cream and suggested that Martha massage her ankle every night to rub away any flashbacks she might have from sleeping on low thread count sheets.
Leroy and Eula spent their summer engaged in political activism. Eula joined Cindy Sheehan in Texas, and she and Leroy are preparing for the big anti- war rally scheduled for the end of September in DC. Leroy says Bush has fouled the nest of the US and Leroy will march until he has lost his last feather.
Until we crack another egg, this is all the news for now. Next time Hatchburgians reveal eggsactly what they think about Judge John G. Roberts Jr. Talk about a cracked shell...
Narcisse is unpacking her new fall line. She sent a note to Condi Rice announcing that the Casual Coop has chic feathered ensembles by Henceforth that will look perfect the next time Condi meets the press to explain why she was shoe shopping at Feragamo’s while the cries from New Orleans were rising. Hatchburgians have taken up the call to donate food and clothing to the victims of FEMA’s feeble response to Katrina. On Labor Day Henrietta stood on the corner of Broad Breast St. and Straw Ave, and handed out copies of Paul Krugman’s and Bob Herbert’s columns from the September 6th issue of the New York Times. She highlighted Paul’s second paragraph where he reports that the U.S.S. Bataan, which can produce 100,000 gallons of fresh water per day, and is equipped with six operating rooms, and hundreds of hospital beds has been sitting like a hen on an egg off the Gulf Coast since last Monday, devoid of patients. But as Bob Herbert says, at the head of his column, “Bush to New Orleans: Drop Dead.” They have, and they will continue to do so. What Mavis wants to know is: how many of the Bush man’s supporters finally get the message that a village in Texas has lost its idiot and New Orleans has the corpses to prove it? Mavis is closing Cutter’s pharmacy, and is headed to New Orleans to share her pharmacy supplies with the victims of Katrina. Miss Daisy is responding to the crisis by donating all her September profits from her candy store to the relief effort. Rusty, Raymond, and Sassy are supporting Daisy by stopping in every afternoon to buy their favorite treat: jelly worms and candied flies.
On a happier note, Hatchburg High is gearing up for their 40th high school reunion. Feathers or Not Beauty Salon is booked solid for the day of the reunion (Oct 28th). Reba is so stressed she has started biting her nails, and pulling our her tail feathers. She called Juliet Fricasee and scheduled a Pollame Psychotherapy session for her nerves, and an appointment for silk wraps at Toe the Line. Chicks are booking pedicures and feet massage to get ready for what promises to be a night of cackling and high wing flapping. Rumor has it that the class of ‘65 has produced some prized fowl.
On Hatchburg’s romantic front, Eloise had a loved filled summer. She finally got over last summer’s rotten rooster and has been grilling vegetables and sitting by the pool with a new rooster that she met on hatchmatch.com. On August 31, Eloise made a batch of del Fabro’s (check the Feedbag, Wednesdy Jan 07, 2004, for the recipe) to celebrate Martha Stewart’s freedom. She sent her a tube of Toe the Line’s soothing skin cream and suggested that Martha massage her ankle every night to rub away any flashbacks she might have from sleeping on low thread count sheets.
Leroy and Eula spent their summer engaged in political activism. Eula joined Cindy Sheehan in Texas, and she and Leroy are preparing for the big anti- war rally scheduled for the end of September in DC. Leroy says Bush has fouled the nest of the US and Leroy will march until he has lost his last feather.
Until we crack another egg, this is all the news for now. Next time Hatchburgians reveal eggsactly what they think about Judge John G. Roberts Jr. Talk about a cracked shell...
Sunday, March 27, 2005
March 2005
Henniway you look at it, the Scratch has finally cracked. Rosie calls herself one positive chick, but even she says America’s nest has been fowled. She ate an entire box of chocolate covered flies after learning that W. interrupted his vacation and flew back to DC to sign a bill that could restore Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube. The White House insisted that politics played no part in W’s decision. Henrietta, Rosie and Kitty cried in their Bloody Marys over yet another fowl rotten egg.
It was a wild night at Kitty’s the other night. Rusty had a relapse, took over the CD player and started playing and singing They Ought to Name a Drink After You (John Prine) “Sometimes I feel like an awful fool, spending my life on an old bar stool… Yes I guess they ought to name a drink after you… I get drunk most every night…When I started out I only meant to have a few …If this date were to be our last I’d never sit down this glass…" Kitty took away his glass when Rusty sang the line, “I better get a double round.” He only meant to have a few. He’s on the wagon now and doing 90 and 90. He tried to drown his sorrows after getting rejected by a chicklette on hatchmatch.com.
Leroy had his cholesterol checked this week and is now on the wagon: no more del Fabro Carrot Cake until further notice. He is working on an installation for the café in Hatchburg’s new public library. He is using found objects and quotes torn from magazines and newspapers. It will be a memorial to all those killed in Iraq. Unfortunately, he has plenty of material.
Business is booming at Sassy’s Lumber and Nails. It seems Hatchburgians are getting their coops in order. The casual coop is planning major renovations for a new “Succulent Hen” department for broad breasted fowl.
Del Fabro’s favorite quote of the week comes from George W. He said “It is wisest to always err on the side of life.” It reminded her of Karla Faye Tucker who received the death penalty in Texas when George was Governor:
Karla Faye
She raised herself on Fritos,
Diet Coke and
mother’s marijuana.
In 1983
Karla killed two with a pick-ax but
faith transformed her.
Alone,
strapped to the gurney
she waits execution;
Liquid death hangs above.
Her last words said behind the glass,
she holds her doll eyes open;
Karla dies—
With a little girl’s moan,
A baby’s cough.
The governor
sought guidance
through prayer:
no clemency in Huntsville.
GOOD NEWS: US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and other top brass have been exonerated of accusations that they ordered, or ignored, the torture and humiliation of detainees at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison. On the same note the moon is made of cheese and hell has frozen over. Senator Jim Talent (Republican from Missouri) says “Speakin for myself, if our guys want to poke somebody in the chest to get the name of a bomb maker so that they can save the lives of Americans, I’m for it.” Thanks for being honest Jim. Eula says, “Remind me not to move to Missouri.”
Eloise is recovering from bunion surgery, but it isn’t stopping her from celebrating Martha Stewart’s release from prison. She loves Martha’s poncho which is available free from lionbrand.com. Eloise is making a duplicate of the one Martha wore and is donating it to Raymond’s Tsunami fund.
Mondays are pajama protest day in Hatchburg. Hens for Peace will march (in their pajamas) every Monday until the Iraq War is over.
Saint Eggbert’s had a special mass this week for all those who died in March, with special mention to Jessica Marie Lunsford, those killed in Iraq and the victims of the Red Lake High School shooting.
We who work for peace will not rest until it comes.
Henniway you look at it, the Scratch has finally cracked. Rosie calls herself one positive chick, but even she says America’s nest has been fowled. She ate an entire box of chocolate covered flies after learning that W. interrupted his vacation and flew back to DC to sign a bill that could restore Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube. The White House insisted that politics played no part in W’s decision. Henrietta, Rosie and Kitty cried in their Bloody Marys over yet another fowl rotten egg.
It was a wild night at Kitty’s the other night. Rusty had a relapse, took over the CD player and started playing and singing They Ought to Name a Drink After You (John Prine) “Sometimes I feel like an awful fool, spending my life on an old bar stool… Yes I guess they ought to name a drink after you… I get drunk most every night…When I started out I only meant to have a few …If this date were to be our last I’d never sit down this glass…" Kitty took away his glass when Rusty sang the line, “I better get a double round.” He only meant to have a few. He’s on the wagon now and doing 90 and 90. He tried to drown his sorrows after getting rejected by a chicklette on hatchmatch.com.
Leroy had his cholesterol checked this week and is now on the wagon: no more del Fabro Carrot Cake until further notice. He is working on an installation for the café in Hatchburg’s new public library. He is using found objects and quotes torn from magazines and newspapers. It will be a memorial to all those killed in Iraq. Unfortunately, he has plenty of material.
Business is booming at Sassy’s Lumber and Nails. It seems Hatchburgians are getting their coops in order. The casual coop is planning major renovations for a new “Succulent Hen” department for broad breasted fowl.
Del Fabro’s favorite quote of the week comes from George W. He said “It is wisest to always err on the side of life.” It reminded her of Karla Faye Tucker who received the death penalty in Texas when George was Governor:
Karla Faye
She raised herself on Fritos,
Diet Coke and
mother’s marijuana.
In 1983
Karla killed two with a pick-ax but
faith transformed her.
Alone,
strapped to the gurney
she waits execution;
Liquid death hangs above.
Her last words said behind the glass,
she holds her doll eyes open;
Karla dies—
With a little girl’s moan,
A baby’s cough.
The governor
sought guidance
through prayer:
no clemency in Huntsville.
GOOD NEWS: US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and other top brass have been exonerated of accusations that they ordered, or ignored, the torture and humiliation of detainees at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison. On the same note the moon is made of cheese and hell has frozen over. Senator Jim Talent (Republican from Missouri) says “Speakin for myself, if our guys want to poke somebody in the chest to get the name of a bomb maker so that they can save the lives of Americans, I’m for it.” Thanks for being honest Jim. Eula says, “Remind me not to move to Missouri.”
Eloise is recovering from bunion surgery, but it isn’t stopping her from celebrating Martha Stewart’s release from prison. She loves Martha’s poncho which is available free from lionbrand.com. Eloise is making a duplicate of the one Martha wore and is donating it to Raymond’s Tsunami fund.
Mondays are pajama protest day in Hatchburg. Hens for Peace will march (in their pajamas) every Monday until the Iraq War is over.
Saint Eggbert’s had a special mass this week for all those who died in March, with special mention to Jessica Marie Lunsford, those killed in Iraq and the victims of the Red Lake High School shooting.
We who work for peace will not rest until it comes.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Henniway you look at it, summer is about to fly the coop. As far as Gabriella is concerned, it is none too soon. It has been a summer of breakups, killings, lying liars, and some sick roosters up to no good in Hatchburg. G. has been feeling peckish since breaking up with a Florida furniture mogul named Seymour Badcock. Eloise too suffered a fouled-nest summer. From her point of view, you can't always tell a rooster from his comb (especially if he dyes his feathers). She had a hot summer in the love coop, but as the leaves began to color, the White House wasn't the only place cranking out lies and sins of omission. Just back from a trip to the Netherlands, Eloise has cleaned her coop of a foul fowl and is out free ranging. If you too had a cracked summer romance, sweep up fallen feathers, break out some flour and sugar and bake a batch of oatmeal cookies. Check the feedbag for the delicious details. These cookies are easy to make and are guaranteed to make you feel less fried.
Speaking of cooking, the White House has been cooking up a batch of cooked budget books. The administration's standard procedure is to issue an unrealistically high deficit forecast, and then when the actual number comes in lower than the forecast our leaders announce that the deficit is falling, even though it is higher than the previous year's deficit.
Francesca ordered a million candles delivered to her coop. She passed some of them out for Hatchburg's solemn September 11 vigil. The corn fields along Fairview road were filled with hens and roosters carrying lighted memorials to the victims of 9/11. Reba and Joey took turns reading the names of all the victims. As each name was called out, Rosie blew out a candle.
A few well heeled Hatchburgians spent August suning their tail feathers at the Jersey Shore. Kitty shut down the Liver and Gizzard Bar and Grill and left to ride the waves in Bayhead. After a few days broiling on the sand, she paid a visit to Dominique's new cosmetic surgery wing on Ocean View Drive. Dominique decided to cash in on the burnt chick crowd on Bayhead's ocean side. Business is booming at D's satellite office. It's hush hush, but the word at the Roasted Corn is that Rusty and Raymond had Dominique resurface their combs and wattles.
On the 30th of September, the Roasted Corn will host a Leave No Voter Behind rally followed by a candlelight march in remembrance of the one thousand plus American's killed in Iraq.
There will be a participant representing each person killed in Iraq. Rosetta and Rosaria are making red white and blue Buck Fush signs for anyone who is interested. So far, they can't make them fast enough.
Speaking of cooking, the White House has been cooking up a batch of cooked budget books. The administration's standard procedure is to issue an unrealistically high deficit forecast, and then when the actual number comes in lower than the forecast our leaders announce that the deficit is falling, even though it is higher than the previous year's deficit.
Francesca ordered a million candles delivered to her coop. She passed some of them out for Hatchburg's solemn September 11 vigil. The corn fields along Fairview road were filled with hens and roosters carrying lighted memorials to the victims of 9/11. Reba and Joey took turns reading the names of all the victims. As each name was called out, Rosie blew out a candle.
A few well heeled Hatchburgians spent August suning their tail feathers at the Jersey Shore. Kitty shut down the Liver and Gizzard Bar and Grill and left to ride the waves in Bayhead. After a few days broiling on the sand, she paid a visit to Dominique's new cosmetic surgery wing on Ocean View Drive. Dominique decided to cash in on the burnt chick crowd on Bayhead's ocean side. Business is booming at D's satellite office. It's hush hush, but the word at the Roasted Corn is that Rusty and Raymond had Dominique resurface their combs and wattles.
On the 30th of September, the Roasted Corn will host a Leave No Voter Behind rally followed by a candlelight march in remembrance of the one thousand plus American's killed in Iraq.
There will be a participant representing each person killed in Iraq. Rosetta and Rosaria are making red white and blue Buck Fush signs for anyone who is interested. So far, they can't make them fast enough.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Henniway you look at it, if I cry now, I'll feel better. Some days a chick has to put her head on her breast and let the water flow.
I think there are more beggars in Rome this year
Not more gypsies holding emptied-bellied toddlers
Not more senzatetti
but more straight-ups begging for their lives
A dream's length from the Pantheon
B flats and F sharps dissipate into the breath
of the beg-less
An accordion player presses her back against the wall
Her eyes closed to the day, she wants just
one cup of coffee
Her sweater shivers in a breeze of tourists
Her money cup opens wide in Via Minerva
In the Pantheon, Raphael dreams in accordion notes
January cries all night like a mother whose baby
dies without warning
I think there are more beggars in Rome this year
Del Fabro is back from Rome where she fell in the forum. She cracked her back, but she saved her eggs. She put herself on ice for three days, and now that she’s back, her back is back to normal.
Feathers flew in Hatchburg as the proposed constitutional amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage died. Thelma and Louise had a jelly doughnut party to celebrate.
Henrietta heard it from the grapevine that Eloise laid a golden egg this weekend at Hatchmatch.com. E found an Irish rooster, and rumor has it that she laid her first dozen extra extra large. Eloise isn’t clucking, but Joey saw her at the Roasted Corn with a love, love, love, love, I-feel-better-already-kind of smile.
Why should I feel so discouraged, I want to know why? Could it be that our “mission accomplished” war is still blowing up? Could it be those sweet Indian children who burned to death? Could it be the latest beheading, or is it because Martha got five months?
Helen Mirren, why did you do it?
I think there are more beggars in Rome this year
Not more gypsies holding emptied-bellied toddlers
Not more senzatetti
but more straight-ups begging for their lives
A dream's length from the Pantheon
B flats and F sharps dissipate into the breath
of the beg-less
An accordion player presses her back against the wall
Her eyes closed to the day, she wants just
one cup of coffee
Her sweater shivers in a breeze of tourists
Her money cup opens wide in Via Minerva
In the Pantheon, Raphael dreams in accordion notes
January cries all night like a mother whose baby
dies without warning
I think there are more beggars in Rome this year
Del Fabro is back from Rome where she fell in the forum. She cracked her back, but she saved her eggs. She put herself on ice for three days, and now that she’s back, her back is back to normal.
Feathers flew in Hatchburg as the proposed constitutional amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage died. Thelma and Louise had a jelly doughnut party to celebrate.
Henrietta heard it from the grapevine that Eloise laid a golden egg this weekend at Hatchmatch.com. E found an Irish rooster, and rumor has it that she laid her first dozen extra extra large. Eloise isn’t clucking, but Joey saw her at the Roasted Corn with a love, love, love, love, I-feel-better-already-kind of smile.
Why should I feel so discouraged, I want to know why? Could it be that our “mission accomplished” war is still blowing up? Could it be those sweet Indian children who burned to death? Could it be the latest beheading, or is it because Martha got five months?
Helen Mirren, why did you do it?
Monday, June 14, 2004
Henniway you look at it, Mr. George W. Bush went to a funeral and gave a eulogy. Henrietta said, “Leave Reagan’s funeral to the Reagans." She thinks Bush used Reagan’s funeral to feather his (W’s) nest. Hatchburgians smelled a fox in the coop.
Rosie had a few words to say about Ronald Reagan: “I am sorry for his suffering and for the loss to his family. That we can all relate to. However, his presidency is another matter." As she remembers it, Ronald Reagan ignored environmental and health costs in the pursuit of profit, was responsible for increasing the federal deficit and undermining civil rights. However, this week Hatchburgains lay to rest Ronald Reagan’s legacy of greed and focused on his struggle with Alzheimer’s disease.
In sympathy for all families coping with Alzheimers and other forms of dementia, Rosie donated all del Fabro carrot cake sales to Alzheimers's research.
Eloise made a ninety-day pledge to abstain from Halo Pub’s coffee chip ice cream. Inspired by the rescue of 900-pound Lawrence McConneghey, Eloise pronounced, "that could be me if I keep eating like this." She did not mention other flavors.
This week Juliet turned off her TV and went on a Phillip Seymour Hoffman binge. As she tells her clients, sometimes you have to indulge a fantasy. She watched The Talented Mr. Ripley again and rented Owning Mahowny. She gave five stars to Owning Mahowny and all the stars in the universe to Seymour. She loves his paunch and his dirty hair. She laid a dozen extra large in his honor.
Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 will be released on June 25. Henrietta plans an opening night bash. After the film, everyone in Hatchburg is invited to a More Moore party. Henrietta reserved Roger and Me, Bowling for Columbine and The Awful Truth. Henrietta predicts a cackling good time. All hens plan to lay extra large eggs in recognition of all the eggs laid by George Bush. After the film, Henrietta will offer an all corn buffet featuring del Fabros, semolina gnocchi, Eloise’s corn salad, corn sticks, caramel popcorn, chocolate covered ticks and a variety of other corny dishes. Rusty is in charge of the non alcoholic bar and Kitty will shake up an extra large batch of del Fabros and her newest drink made with red current couli and Campari. Send name suggestions for the new drink to mariadelfabro@verizon.net.
Rosie had a few words to say about Ronald Reagan: “I am sorry for his suffering and for the loss to his family. That we can all relate to. However, his presidency is another matter." As she remembers it, Ronald Reagan ignored environmental and health costs in the pursuit of profit, was responsible for increasing the federal deficit and undermining civil rights. However, this week Hatchburgains lay to rest Ronald Reagan’s legacy of greed and focused on his struggle with Alzheimer’s disease.
In sympathy for all families coping with Alzheimers and other forms of dementia, Rosie donated all del Fabro carrot cake sales to Alzheimers's research.
Eloise made a ninety-day pledge to abstain from Halo Pub’s coffee chip ice cream. Inspired by the rescue of 900-pound Lawrence McConneghey, Eloise pronounced, "that could be me if I keep eating like this." She did not mention other flavors.
This week Juliet turned off her TV and went on a Phillip Seymour Hoffman binge. As she tells her clients, sometimes you have to indulge a fantasy. She watched The Talented Mr. Ripley again and rented Owning Mahowny. She gave five stars to Owning Mahowny and all the stars in the universe to Seymour. She loves his paunch and his dirty hair. She laid a dozen extra large in his honor.
Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 will be released on June 25. Henrietta plans an opening night bash. After the film, everyone in Hatchburg is invited to a More Moore party. Henrietta reserved Roger and Me, Bowling for Columbine and The Awful Truth. Henrietta predicts a cackling good time. All hens plan to lay extra large eggs in recognition of all the eggs laid by George Bush. After the film, Henrietta will offer an all corn buffet featuring del Fabros, semolina gnocchi, Eloise’s corn salad, corn sticks, caramel popcorn, chocolate covered ticks and a variety of other corny dishes. Rusty is in charge of the non alcoholic bar and Kitty will shake up an extra large batch of del Fabros and her newest drink made with red current couli and Campari. Send name suggestions for the new drink to mariadelfabro@verizon.net.
